The Power of NO
November 18, 2012 
I said NO.
NO - to something I thought I wanted..that I'd been working towards..that I believed was the right next step. NO - to an opportunity. NO - to a possibility. NO - to a something to which I should have..would have..could have so easily said - YES..YES.
But - when it came time to commit to that YES...what I heard myself say was - NO..NO..NO. Not here. Not this. Not now. Not today.
I swallowed hard and wondered - why? While the universe continues to remind me to fear less..to do more..to believe..to trust..to jump - I said stop. I said NO.
Leap fearlessly..and that magical net will appear.
For a moment - I rested. I let my mind and my body grow quiet and still. I listened. To the sound of my breath..to my heart beating. I listened to what I want and need. I peeked my head over the edge of that precipice and looked at what I was seeing. I can - I decided. And - I will. But not this. Not now. Not today.
Look before you leap.
A lifetime of saying yes to whatever everyone and anyone offers up to me..to following the road so well-travelled. I was...I am...I forever will be - that good girl. I aim to please. I try harder. If yes is what is expected...then YES - it will be.
But this time - I said NO.
It's such a small little word. Two little letters. One N followed by an O. Two powerful little alphabetic symbols that when strung together spell N-O. NO.
Maybe it was fear speaking? Or - perhaps it was resistance? Or maybe..just maybe - it was the wisdom that's been promised to come with experience and age? Maybe it's this growing and knowing and understanding and accepting? Maybe it's knowing where your heart lies? Yes - maybe - it's just that...and maybe it's much much more.
I closed a door.
When one door closes..another opens.
Somehow - I expected to feel sadness..to feel regret..to feel apologetic for my unprecedented decision and choice. This good little girl does what's expected..and what's expected is always - YES.
But instead - I felt a surprising surge of new energy. I felt strong and confident and powerful and free. Quite suddenly - everywhere I looked - was vast and empty space with only new and endless possibility to fill it. For the first time - I listened to me.
As this week of gratitude begins..I find myself with so much for which to be truly grateful. For family..for friends. For good health. For the food on my table and the roof over my head. For the sun that rises each and every new day.
And today - I'm forever grateful for a one intangible gift that too often goes un-noticed and un-said. And that is the gift of this age. Of growing older with strength and ever-increasing self-awareness..with wisdom and grace...with forgiveness and acceptance..with compassion ..and always - with love.
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Cross-posted at Vision and Verb - where a collaborative of like-minded women share their passion for creativity and the written word.
Reader Comments (58)
Good for you! It took me a long time to feel comfortable in saying that word. Age does have it's advantages!
Your photograph is a wonderful manifestation of devotion and body control. The lighting is perfect and the gesture of the woman shown powerful and very gripping.
The words that accompany this superb photo are thought-provoking and touching as well. Your ability to boil down your inner monologue and conflicts to a handful of sentences that describe them clearly and precisely is phenomenal.
Another Amen to this. I began saying no a few years back...now I say it even more..even when it is something I thought I would want...but as the years pass...I am more aware of what moves me forward and what will hold me back. I love what you wrote here and to say I can relate would be an understatement.
A powerful photo and a profound message.
Une superbe image qui préfigure une nouvelle belle série, nul doutes.
Sometimes, when one is very fortunate, one just knows.
This is a wonderful post, Marcie.
Congratulations on saying no! You have definitely captured the power of saying no here! Your writing and photography skills are amazing!
Powerful post, just like that that one little word. I remember the first time I said no and how confident and alive I felt. I love this.
Yes, yes, yes! I mean yes to no. Wisdom comes with experience. Wonderful words and image, Marcie!
beautiful light and athmosphere
Very nice light!
Fantastic photo. Her pose is gorgeous--fluid, graceful, restful. The light from the window leads my eye to her; it surrounds her. Beautiful. Peaceful. (Almost makes me want to try yoga.)
Fantastic words. You did jump, but you jumped in the direction of setting limits. Good for you. It can be frightening. New behavior is frightening. Even though I have become good at saying No, I still feel that tinge of guilt. I keep saying No because it creates space and energy to be me.
Thanks for sharing.
Beautifully said... thank you for the reminder that sometimes what is best for ourselves is the right thing to do, even if it means saying no.
Strong and confident and powerful and free for sure. And minimal & great, Marcie!
All the best & safe travels, Fritsch.
There is great freedom at this age and no is part of it. A reason to rejoice and celebrate who and where you are in this season of life.
How wonderful. No is such a powerful and neglected word for those of us who have spent our lives saying yes to everything, without a thought for what is right for us. I love that you were able to take that step, and I love, love, love (and envy) your image.
While the ego seeks a yes, it's always the body where a no forms first...it's a matter of listening to it amidst the noise. How brilliantly you have described this process and the freedom and elation that has resulted. I am thrilled for you and all your possibilities:~)) Beautiful image too:~)
Well done you for finally being able to say NO. NO = ON, put upON, depended ON, always ON duty, ever ON the ball for the sake of others. And oh, the shock when you turn that word to NO, the jolt it gives to othesr who suddenly realise how much they have taken you for granted. But sometimes it has to be said, and you are right, what a sense of freedom (and wonder at your own courage!) when you have said it for the first time.
It feels really good, does't it...saying NO.
I say YES to this beautiful image.
Wouldn't it be inspiring to sit around and talk about all our NOs and how we got to them and what happened afterwards! How heaven and earth opened up and poured out their treasures...just because of that one word! I love how you have written this, Marcie. It's something we all can relate to, for sure!
Yes and no -both necessary and very powerful. Can't have one without the other. Sometimes no is the perfect word.
A very fine picture that is simple but very strong in impact. Very well done. A fine verbalization of a complex thought process.
OMG. Thank you. I need to hear this every day.
No is a complete sentence. And yes, the gift of this age is power. A subtle power, but a stepping into our power. And knowing that we can't say yes to everything and do right by ourselves. Whatever it is you said no to, I'm glad to read of the space and peace that offered you.
So beautifully written, Marcie. Sometimes it's scary to say No, after a lifetime of saying yes.
The gift of this age....yes, a priceless gift for which we can all be thankful.
I am giving you a great big "high five" over here! And trying to catch my breath from such a wonderful & beautiful read, not to mention the gorgeous image!
Nice!
This good girl has also found her inner NO, wonderfully freeing!
I got goosebumps! Beautifully written
Marcie, I perceive two NOs in your meditative reflection. The first NO coming quite surprisingly to something you thought you wanted and believed was the right next step. But after quieting yourself and listening to your mind and body you found out you couldn't follow that way, not at that time and not in that way. The other NO coming from a person used to saying yes to please others and be cooperative. These two NOs might have intermingled and amplified one another, getting an entirely new and unexpected meaning and giving you unknown strength. Undeniably an admirable leap forward.
this powerful post brought tired tears
to my eyes,
....so brave and shining and true
and I thank you for sharing
because it sent a warm shot of courage
right to the place of my fear
and i needed that today
like air:)
-Jennifer
It is very liberating when you are able to say NO, to say what you really think and want.
Fabulous image :-)
Beautiful Marcie. Brava!
Whoa Marcie, so good for you to muster up a "n-o". Hope it all works out. I need to be more like that too in my life that is why this resonates with me so much.
FYI there is a famous country song that has a line it that says "what part of "no" don't you understand?" although it was used in a different context it somehow reminded me of the power you found inside you to walk away from something that needed to be avoided. Best to you for your courage and a very happy TG holiday
Saying NO to others has often meant saying YES to myself.
Marcie - such an amazingly powerful, wise and honest post. We are so much alike in this respect - the good girls, the ones who don't want to disappoint, who always want to cooperate and deliver the goods. YES comes so naturally; NO is a struggle. But it is becoming easier to say with the wisdom of age.
Your photograph is filled with amazing light and gorgeous negative space - a perfect illustration of that freedom of no.
The last paragraph says it all Marcie. BRAVO!
Yes, more and more, I find that I hold my time to be precious, and choosing more and more wisely how to spend it... which sometimes means saying no.
I think you were right to trust your instinct... because it is true that another door just opened.
Wisdom and grace... yes, with each step we take, we gain more.
It's strange reading all the comments, most dealt with the word, whereas I was wondering what you said NO to? I'm convinced it was a bungee jump :>)
BTW the photograph is a lovely figure study.
I need to get my wife to read this post--wonderful shot and thoughts Marcie!
Bravo! That was a wonderful testament to the power of NO!
One of the benefits of aging, we grow into our own better self! Love the photo!
Marcie, I love that image.....it's so strong and the light is gorgeous....(going to mail you separately about that :)...
And as always I love your words. I love how you make No into something that makes so much sense; we fear it don't we, often told oh no you can't say no, have to jump at every opportunity. but no is also an opportunity as you so rightly point out x
very flexible.. :) nice capture
As you said - NO is so powerful. It took me a long time to say No, but now it feels easier. Still not easy, but easier. And so far, no regrets.
Oh what a tough thing you did. It can be frightening to turn something down. All sorts of questions come to mind. What if this was THE opportunity that could lead to the break I'd been looking for? But in this world of too many demands and not enough time to do creative work or to simply think, it becomes important to ask, does this fit with my deepest passions or is this a distraction and time and energy vacuum? The relief you feel means that you answered those questions well.
I think getting older allows us this ability to say no. We learn that every day we have so much we want to do, that we have to pick and choose wisely.
Good for you! It is a constant struggle for me. I've been a "yes" girl all of my life. Hopefully, I too, will master the art of saying "no"
What a lovely post. Beautifully written, Nicely said. And, yes, many of us need to learn to say NO more often.
I learned to say NO when I was an officer in a local organization ---where most offices were filled by volunteers, not elections. After two years, I announced I wanted to leave that position and would do so as soon as someone volunteered to take over. A year passed. Then another. Finally I just resigned, and, voilá, someone offered to take my place within a week. I never made that mistake again. When it's time to re-up for another term, I say NO.
Often when I am asked to accept a position, I volunteer to do one task, such as bring refreshments to the March meeting. I've served my time.
I'm approaching the age where I can say and do outrageous things and people think I'm eccentric, not crazy. So I am empowered to say NO whenever I feel like it. I do it often and without regret..
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My response to Weekend Linkup at Write on Edge can be found here:
http://proartz.blogspot.com/2009/02/wrong-side-of-tracks.html
Please stop by.
Marcie - I love this power and strength in you to say N-O!